Paciano Tales

Once upon a time, in the charming town of Paciano, a vibrant group of townsfolk set out for the annual Infiorata of Cervaro. Among them was our hero, Hugo, a jovial soul destined for a perilous encounter with a cantankerous calabrone, the infamous Italian hornet.

While the Pacianesi were caught up in the spirited chaos of the festival, protecting their beautiful flower carpets from the unexpected rainfall, Hugo felt a sharp sting on his left shin. Brushing it off as a trivial injury, he carried on with the work, oblivious to the storm about to unleash within his leg.

As the day wore on, Hugo’s ‘little nip’ began to unfurl its true colors. His shin took on an alarming hue of violet-red, his lower leg swelled up like a well-risen loaf of bread, and it was hot to the touch. The initial sting had now escalated into a punishing pain that made every step a torment.

Witnessing Hugo’s growing distress, his fellow Pacianesi, always ready for a crisis, sprang into action. They delved into their bags and pockets, unearthing an array of tranquilizers, painkillers, and homemade remedies. The sight of Hugo popping pills and applying ointments, all the while limping on his swollen, heated leg, was a scene straight out of a sitcom. ‘The calabrone calamity’, as his leg was now fondly nicknamed, was becoming the event of the day.

Yet, amidst the laughter and jest, whispers of dread began to circulate. Tales of similar hornet bites leading to severe infections, necrosis, and even amputations began to waft through the crowd. Hugo, already in discomfort, felt a knot of fear settle in his stomach. His mind raced with visions of his leg, his poor, swollen leg, meeting a tragic end.

The bus ride back to Paciano the next day felt like a torture chamber on wheels. Each jolt, each turn, each sudden stop was a fresh assault on his inflamed leg. But, ever the trooper, Hugo endured, cracking jokes about his ‘calabrone calamity’, his laughter concealing the gnawing fear within.

Upon returning to Paciano, Hugo, now shouldering the weight of his fellow townsfolk’s stories, headed straight for the pronto soccorso in Castiglione del Lago. But instead of the immediate help he sought, he was met with a brick wall of bureaucracy. His heart sank as he was instructed to consult his general practitioner first. The next available appointment? A week away.

Hugo was undeterred. He set to work, making frantic phone calls, voicing pleas, even channeling his inner Italian nonna for that added touch of dramatic flair. His efforts were rewarded with an immediate appointment with his doctor.

Armed with antibiotics and cortisone tablets, Hugo felt victorious. His leg was still throbbing, swollen, and hot, but his spirit was unbroken. Over the next few days, the ‘calabrone calamity’ began to recede. The swelling reduced, the redness faded, and the heat subsided.

Hugo’s saga, complete with the calabrone encounter, the nerve-wracking bus ride, the grim tales of amputations, the disappointment at the pronto soccorso, and his ultimate victory, became a legend in Paciano. It was a tale of resilience, humor, camaraderie, and a touch of Italian bureaucracy, a story that would be retold for generations, each time with a hearty laugh and a cheer for Hugo, the hero who conquered the ‘calabrone calamity’ of 2023.